


the burden

by carrionqueen (nightquill)



Series: The Ocean [4]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Sibling Death, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 10:33:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6953128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightquill/pseuds/carrionqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The hawk would have been safe if it had stayed, but that isn't what hawks do. // some things change you irrevocably. some things leave scars. some things can't be healed, even by a well meaning sister. set during the first year in service to the red iron.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the burden

Cat didn’t realise it, but he’d have followed her to the edge of Thedas. Mother always joked that Cat had two mabari, and that the one with four legs had more brains. It didn’t really bother him – he wasn’t an intellectual like their father had been, and he’d never really wanted that. But he was loyal. He was tough. There was a mabari-like nobility to him that he was oddly proud of. He hefted the sword on his shoulders and arranged his face into a scowl. 

“Must you _glower_ so much, little brother?” Cat called over her shoulder, her tatty skirts pooling about her ankles as she turned. She walked backwards with a grin across her lips and the deep blue sea in her eyes. He fought the contagion but the corners of his mouth betrayed him, quirking up into a grin that came out all crooked. 

“Stop it. I’m trying to look serious.”

“Well that’s good. Wouldn’t want the darktown gangs to think you were joking when you hack them to bits,”

“Says the apostate who giggles when she freezes people to the ground,” he snapped, but his eyes were smiling. Cat dashed forward and punched him playfully in the ribs. They laughed. It was good to laugh. It was good to see her smiling after… well, after Bethany. The night terrors came more often now - again, and again, she'd fall into the sea, and again, Carver would have to bundle into her bed to remind her that it was not real and that, even if it was, he'd fish her out. If she asked nicely. And it was nice to have someone to look after. Mother was a wreck and Carver had never really been _alone_ like this before - there was Ostagar, of course, but Beth had always been there with him in some kind of... way. No longer, though.

It seemed like it always came back to her. He shivered like someone had slipped snow down his tunic, swallowing hard as her name began to pulse with his heart. Bethany. The worst bit was that Cat didn’t get it, couldn’t possibly no matter how hard she tried. They were siblings, but Bethany was his twin. That other bit of him. Cat was walking beside him now, chatting about Gamlen and the markets and Kirkwall’s history but he didn’t really hear, couldn't comprehend anything coming out of her mouth. He was hearing was the sound of Bethany breathing as she slept, her humming as she dutifully attended to her chores, her quiet scolding when he upset her, which, in hindsight, was far too often. He could still see her, perfectly, when he shut his eyes. He blinked hard, scrunching up his lids against the sun.

“Carver? Where are you going, here’s the door,” Cat called, her voice cutting through the hazy half-memories. He was several yards past their destination when he opened his eyes again, and with a sheepish smile, he turned. Cat stopped him when he reached the alcove. "It's okay," she murmured, ducking to catch his downcast eyes. "I know it's not the same. But it's okay, isn't it?" _Damn it_. She always knew, could somehow smell the weird absent longing on him. He was lonely, but he'd die before he admitted it. 

She touched his arm and his smile turned dark. With a grunt he shouldered past her, through the doorway and down the hall. "Not really," he said, drawing up his walls again. She tried - and he knew she meant well. He knew she meant _everything_. She tried to catch his hand, the scarred tips of her fingers brushing the ball of his thumb, but he shook her off. "You wouldn't know. Just... Leave it," 

Cat blew a sigh through pursed lips and jogged to catch up. "Well. You know where to find me, little brother. If you ever want to talk."


End file.
